Promises
by Clementive
Summary: [Pre-war]. Their friendship was built on all the promises they never made to each other across the years. Kakashi & Gai centric.


_**Summary:**_ **[Pre-war]. Their friendship was built on all the promises they never made to each other across the years. Kakashi & Gai centric.**

 _ **I hope you enjoy all it. ^_^**_

-X-

 **Promises**

 _ **by Clementive**_

 _ **This is my gift for doodley-tals for the Naruto Secret Santa on tumblr.**_

-X-

Kakashi already wore his uniform like a second skin, sleek and anonymous, borrowing from the shadows. He had burned his previous skin, peeled it off his aching bones, joints when he had picked his ANBU mask. Shells served their village better. Shells didn't rot away in feelings and pain.

"Promise me this isn't about Rin," Gai's voice boomed from below, harsh, demanding.

His skin still itched, throbbed where they had set his tattoo, but his mind was numb, undisturbed by Gai. Kakashi had expected his antics, him punching the air, declaring it his decision a new way for them to compete. He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, but drew his leg back toward him, ready to jump off and disappear among the trees.

"It's about me," Kakashi replied curtly, and if he had hanged on to any of his flesh or bones, he would have wished for Gai to leave.

But Gai stood, solidly, his clenched fists shaking at his side. He stood still, panting, just as he had run up to him. He always ran up to him. He always grounded him. In the past. Now, Kakashi was the mask. Now, he was the killer. Now, he could look down at Gai, indistinctly drawn in the fluttering shadows' of the leaves, and feel detached.

"We're rivals, but we're not that different one from another."

"We are different. There's no darkness to you."

After all, weren't they their father's son? Wasn't it why Kakashi moved, crept like liquid darkness while Gai shone bright when he fought?

"Why didn't you ask me?" Gai shook his head, trying to think of the right words. He should have been prepared for this day. "Why didn't you rely on me if you needed more... If you needed some humanity?"

"We're not rivals to me."

Gai flinched, and Kakashi jumped off the branch, a shadow melting away, putting time and distance between them. It had always been in his nature because the only who remained, the only one who hadn't died in his arms was Gai.

"We're friends," he whispered to the darkness when he was certain Gai didn't follow him. When he was certain he was alone. Truly alone like he intended. "I never wanted to sully you," he never said aloud; He had been stripped of these thoughts when he chose the path of the mask.

Kakashi kept leaping, bouncing off branches and trunk, raising above darkness and trees.

-X-

"Promise me you're not putting too much faith in the Uchiha kid."

Their bodies were sleek with sweat, beaten down, but shining, red and purple, in the descending darkness. They were alone on the training ground, and Kakashi thought of Rin, and Obito, and Gai and the first day he had worn his ANBU uniform. Years had swept by, and he had barely felt them.

Some part of him had never truly come back from his ANBU missions.

"You wanted this for me," his voice grew cold, harsh, and he felt cornered. Around them, the leaves rustled, whistled in the wind, but none of them bent. Somehow, they were still sparing. "You made me quit ANBU because you were scared I wouldn't be human anymore."

"Being kind, being human doesn't mean trusting blindly into a child who's ready to destroy himself for power."

"I was like him," Kakashi levelled his voice because he was always terrified Gai would one day see nothing but savagery inside him.

And he was trying. He was trying to save Sasuke from the darkness, and as always, he couldn't grip it, tear it out, with his bloodied hands. He couldn't control it. It was everywhere, tainting his heart, his soul, and he wanted to ask Gai how with everything he had seen he could still inspire light and good in people? How could it summon it for himself?

"No, you weren't. Never."

Kakashi gripped his book in his pocket, his only escape.

"Maybe you just want to see me in a certain way."

Maybe he was the one who couldn't see himself beyond the killer under the mask. He struggled with civilian life. He struggled with his teacher's duties, his team, and all his responsibilities. Constantly, he let them down: Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke. Gai. Everything always came back to his bond with Gai.

"I lacked everything to follow you. All of my life. I lacked talent. I lacked training. But we're equals now. I'm not wrong about this. Promise me."

Gai held out his hand, and Kakashi vaguely wondered if he had done the same years ago under the tree, smiling the same smile. His shoulders relaxed, and he let his book go.

"You believed in Lee, so should understand this: It doesn't matter if I'm wrong. It doesn't matter if he turns back against me, or his friends. I've faith in him. I'm his teacher. That's all."

Did he truly believe that, he wondered? Did he truly believe he could teach anyone how to be a ninja, when the only times he had been comfortable was after each kill?

But Gai threw his arm around his shoulder and pulled him toward him, grounding him like they were still children. He punched the sky and yelled that he would surpass him as an admirable teacher, and his darkening thoughts drifted away.

"Let me go."

"Never, my eternal rival!" Gai shouted louder, his arm tightening around him, and he mustered proud tears in his eyes. Always too much. Always enough to draw him back on the path of humanity and light. "Your youthful energy is inspiring! Tomorrow, I'll train my students with your philosophy!"

-X-

"I'm sorry."

Gai sat down next to him, but he still held his book opened, pretending to read it. Words danced, eluded him, but he held on.

"I know," Kakashi muttered and pinched the corner of the page to turn it.

He had been wrong. He had failed again.

"Promise me we'll become better teachers together," Gai gave him a thumb up, pressing down onto his book with his other hand. His smile, his content face filled his vision.

And Kakashi heard the faint echo of the other promises he wanted him to keep: 'Promise me you won't run after him. Promise me you won't succumb to the darkness. Promise me we are okay. Promise me you won't return to ANBU now that you think you've failed.' He closed his eyes, and his fingers slacked around his book.

"You haven't failed," Gai said softly, and he read him, saw the stiffening of his muscles, so he repeated it, more slowly.

They stared at the gate Sasuke crossed, leaning back on the bench where Sakura woke up.

"He knocked Sakura out. Almost all the genins are in critical condition at the hospital." Kakashi inhaled sharply, and he was frozen inside out, guts spilling out of his shell for the first time in years, like he knocked Sakura out himself. Like he had been the one who almost killed all of them.

When Gai frowned, Kakashi finally saw himself for what he was: angry, and once more, he touched ground and the killer inside him retreated.

"I believed in Neji, even when his heart was unyouthful."

"Gai," he tried, hesitated, but Gai shook his head, and held up his hand.

"I believed in you when you joined the ANBU."

"Gai," Kakashi repeated more firmly, and his friend paused, his open hand still between them. "Thank you."

-X-

They met at the top of Hokage Rock, bathed in orange and red streaks. They began running in silence, out of habit. They knew the terms of their friendship more than they knew themselves. Earth and rocks spilled beneath their feet as they began their descent.

"What a wonderful morning, my eternal rival!" Gai shouted excitedly, his body hunched and leaping. "I've increased the weight on my legs! You should too!"

"I run without weights, Gai, only you..."

Kakashi ran faster, and Gai pretended he didn't understand Kakashi was now trying to keep up with him. He pretended he didn't know he had surpassed him in speed a long time ago.

"You're full of youth today, but I'll beat you!" Gai shouted over the wind billowing around them, his mouth slacked and agape. "Because I too woke up with the flames of youth inside me!"

"Gai... You feel it, don't you? Times are changing."

"I feel nothing, but I shall train all my senses until I hear, see and taste it too because-"

"We're going to war."

Gai didn't reply, 'it may still be avoidable' like Kurenai did. He didn't shrug and smirk like Ibiki did. He merely kept running, his face content, unmoved.

"Promise me you won't open the fifth gate."

Inwardly, Kakashi choked on the words, recoiled from them, trying to convince himself he didn't need to say them. _Gai would never_. _Gai would never_. Yet, the chant inside his mind filled him with dread; until now, Gai had always been the one demanding things from him.

"Aren't you ready to die for the village? After Tsunade-sama, it'll be you who'll be hokage, so I know you are ready. Just like me."

He gestured toward the asleep village below, coming up fast, and they understood each other. They loved the village, their people, and had once vowed to protect them all with their lives. Despite everything, Kakashi's jaw locked. He had seen too many corpses, lived through too many wars, and he couldn't think of Gai as another casualty.

"Promise me."

"No!" Gai shouted, still smiling, and he jumped off an obstacle, increasing his speed. "I'll win this morning!" He punched the air, unstoppable, like he didn't need ground beneath his feet the way Kakashi did.

"I challenge you," Kakashi shouted back, desperately, as he once more matched Gai's speed.

"You'll become hokage, whether I'm here or not, Kakashi."

Gai held up his hand in front of him, unaffected by speed and friendship and rivalry, and slowly, he raised his arm, pointing at the place on Hokage Rock where Kakashi's face would be carved after the war.

-X-

 _ **PHEWWW! This is unlike anything I have written so far. I don't usually write in the Naruto-verse (meaning, never. I'm all about AUs), nor have I ever written in any of the teachers' POV... I'll definitely do it again though! *_* Please let me know what you think! ^_^**_

 _ **Anyway: Merry Christmas, guys! :D I wish you all the best! :3**_


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